How Sarah Palin Became a Werewolf.

Do you enjoy having your political ideas shifted (or abandoned) by a someone using sheer speculation in the hopes of creating frightened (instead of informed) voters?

The ease with which facts have taken a back seat in political conversations has grown as the internet and 24-hour news channels have sought to entertain instead of inform. To keep their customers, astonishing headlines are used to keep us on the edge of our seats, glued to the screen of our phones, televisions, and computers. At times, these have captured more clicks on the internet and more viewers on television than much more important (but less exciting) events and developments at home and around the world.

This has provided a playground where politicians and voters may insinuate nearly anything and get some type of positive response. Politicians (or would-be candidates) used to gain fame and power by crafting smart legislation geared toward finding solutions to real problems. But now, being the team’s cheerleader or class clown seems much more profitable. Here is a short tutorial on how one can master the use of technology, insinuation, and doubt in our current political atmosphere.

Step One: Plant the seed of doubt.

In an interview, when asked a question about what the new census numbers or redistricting efforts mean, reply:

“You know, following the 2010 census, there has been a lot of discussion about the role of increased minority populations in the United States. But one fringe group often overlooked in our nation is the Native Americans. As their population declines they must be quite desperate to maintain their own religion and culture in a nation that believes in freedom and Judeo-Christian values. When was the last time we heard from them? Being shown as werewolves in some movie? I don’t know, ask Sarah Palin. She’s from up there where they’re still hiding out.”

Step Two: Allow bloggers and the media to ask the questions.

Questions some will begin to ask on blogs, radio, and television:

“How many Native Americans are there? Why aren’t they part of our popular culture? What is their political agenda, and why haven’t we been told about this? Do they follow American laws? Have you done anything to make sure they comply with our laws?”

or

“Why aren’t people popping out of the woodwork saying ‘I went to elementary school with Sarah Palin’ or ‘I remember growing up with Sarah Palin’? I mean did she just show up in Wasilla one day and that’s it? Has she herself ever lived under Native American, or ‘kayaneshae’ law?”

Step Three: When asked, validate the premise.

“Ya know, I’ve thought about this a lot, and I’m glad the American people are as concerned as I am. Native Americans are led by shadowy tribal leaders and have fought the Judeo-Christian way of life on a number of occasions in our history. There are a lot of questions here. I think it’s only fair to the American people that Sarah Palin answer to these concerns and prove she is who we think she is.”

Step Four: Let coincidence, doubt, and absurd questions do the rest.

The term “werewolf” is from the Old Norse “vargr”, meaning “rogue”. The title of Palin’s book: Going Rogue.

Many Native Americans lack an original writing system, allowing them to keep their true beliefs hidden in secret hymns. Hundreds of ceremonies are performed every year which attempt to bring back the spirits of ancestors and werewolves to defeat a tribe’s enemies.

Werewolves are often attributed superhuman strength and senses. Is THIS how she was able to see Russia from her front doorstep in Alaska?

If Palin was such a political heavy hitter, why was she hanging out in the Alaskan wilderness, not far from a well known werewolf stronghold in the largely rural country of Forks, Washington? Are her frequent trips to the wilderness for hunting, or are they for tribal meetings and animist worship rituals?

Werewolves are vulnerable to silver weapons. When was the last time you saw Palin wearing silver, and how can you be certain it wasn’t white gold? The mainstream media is afraid to ask!       

Step Five: Repeat a lie enough times…

Finally, somebody will pick it up and put it into words for you:

“It is not beyond the bounds of possibility that werewolves, in an effort to reintroduce Native American law in America, sought out a young woman whose intellectual talents and political savvy ensured her fate as a viable future Presidential contender, and bit her. Native American tribal leaders have remained largely silent regarding her swift rise to power. Sarah Palin herself has said these rumors are false, but refuses to prove she is not a werewolf.”

MSNBC and Racism: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AB9RoS42HaI&feature=related

Obama’s Fake Family Picture: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fA7hd3j1yHI

Donald Trump and the Birth Certificate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eb9wNeXLwPw

Fox Nation on Obama’s Citizenship .. again: http://nation.foxnews.com/barack-obama/2012/08/06/college-classmate-obama-scandal-columbia

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